“I just found a new way to swim
But nobody found me
I’m not afraid of drowning
I’m afraid of regret
And never really getting wet
Not afraid of the water
I’m gonna pick up a bottle
And I’m going to sing
A troubled musician’s theme
It just seems so fitting
To watch the sun go down over music city”
All songs written, performed and produced by Robert LaSalle
Album art by Megan Kelley
During the 2020 lockdown, the artist released these 2003-2008 teenage mixes as Impaster:
(2004-2005) CYNIC & THE SUNRISE I
(2004-2005) CYNIC & THE SUNRISE II (acoustic)
(2006-2007) ROOTS OF PARADISE I
(2006-2007) ROOTS OF PARADISE II (acoustic)
(2008) LOVE IS NOT AS BLIND AS ME
OCEAN FLOOR
All been done before
It’s all been done before
Not listening any more
I’m not listening any more
And I’m drowning (drowning)
You breathe easy (easy)
You can't hear me (hear me)
It’s all for the sake of drowning
(all for the sake of drowning)
Why aren't you listening anymore?
(why don’t you listen, why on the ocean floor)
It’s all for the sake of a mystery
I will be listening from the ocean floor
Last place I want to be
Last place I want to be
Halfway in the water
Half on the beach
I’ve been beaten at my own game
What will I find?
It’s all for the sake of drowning
(all for the sake of drowning)
Why aren't you listening anymore?
(why don’t you listen, why on the ocean floor)
It’s all for the sake of a mystery
I will be listening from the ocean floor
Never see the sunrise (sunrise, sunset)
Never see the sunset anymore (daylight's far away)
Never see anything except dead weight on the ocean floor
(real life's dead weight on the ocean floor)
There’s a martyr in my bones
A ripple skipping stones
Sinking slowly home
Sinking slowly home
And I’m drowning
You can't see me
You breathe easy
It’s all for the sake of drowning
(all for the sake of drowning)
Why aren't you listening anymore?
(why don’t you listen, why on the ocean floor)
All for the sake of a mystery
Why aren’t you listening?
Why aren’t you listening anymore?
It’s all for the sake of drowning
(all for the sake of drowning)
Why aren't you listening anymore?
(why don’t you listen, why on the ocean floor)
It’s all for the sake of a mystery
I will be listening from the ocean
From the ocean floor
What will I find if I’m not searching?
If I’m not searching anymore
It’s all for the sake of drowning
What will I find if I’m not searching?
If I’m not searching
CANVAS
I woke beneath the morning bells
In the shadows where I painted myself
On a canvas far from home
In a place only you and I know
With picture perfect hindsight
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
Why aren't you here with me now?
There’s a garden full of comely faces
And an ocean for your warm embraces
Where there was love, now there is solid ground
And a frame for all your love's lost and founds
With picture perfect hindsight
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
Why aren't you here with me now?
With picture perfect hindsight
(I see what I see and still see through)
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
('cause I love you)
Why aren't you here with me now?
Would you tell me that I got it wrong?
Would you throw my paintbrush away?
If you were to hear this song
Would you see my canvas mostly blank?
With picture perfect hindsight
(I see what I saw and still see through)
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
('cause I love you)
Why aren't you here with me now?
With picture perfect hindsight
(I see what I saw and still see through)
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
('cause I love you)
Why aren't you here with me now?
(Oh, and I still see through)
With picture perfect hindsight
(I see what I see and still see through)
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
('cause I love you)
Why aren't you here with me now?
(Oh, and I still see through)
With picture perfect hindsight
(I see what I see and still see through)
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
('cause I love you)
Why aren't you here with me now?
(It’s just a canvas without you, and I still see through)
With picture perfect hindsight
(I see what I see and still see through)
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
('cause I love you)
Why aren't you here with me now?
(It’s just a canvas without you, and I still see through)
With picture perfect hindsight
(I see what I see and still see through)
I’ve painted under still light
A beautiful love
('cause I love you)
Why aren't you here with me now?
It’s just a canvas without you
NOT AFRAID OF THE WATER
Not afraid of the water
Not afraid of the water
It’s just my reflection
Stares back at me
Stares back instead of forwards
I was forewarned
By everyone who's
Ever done anything
Don’t mind getting my feet wet
I’ll stay afloat and I won't let
The future I see
Weigh down on me
There’s water all around me
I’m not afraid of drowning
I’m afraid of regret
And never really getting wet
But I can find resolution in what I’m doing
Without, without doubt
That’s what I’m doing
That’s what I’m doing
Not afraid of the water
I’m becoming my father
Find a steady job somewhere
Settle down somewhere
Find brand new dreams
Before I fulfill them
Make a life with children
Live a stable life
Leave my angst behind
I just figure I’ll lay low
'Cause it's too shallow
To dive in head first
Maybe someday I’ll learn
I’ve got my eyes wide open
And I’m just hoping
Someone will hear me first
I’m just hoping something works
But I can find resolution in what I’m doing
Without, without doubt
That’s what I’m doing
That’s what I’m doing
Not afraid of the water
Wasn’t scared of the water
Because I tip toed in
I just found a new way to swim
But nobody found me
I’m not afraid of drowning
I’m afraid of regret
And never really getting wet
Not afraid of the water
I’m gonna pick up a bottle
And I’m going to sing
A troubled musician's theme
It just seems so fitting
To watch the sun go down over music city
HOME, PT 1
No place like home
Home, I’ll go, I’ll go anywhere but home
Fix my lonely heart with deception
How’s angst as a listener?
How's life as a lesson?
And it’s not teaching me anything
At home where my heart is
Splattered all over the floor
Won’t you take me anywhere but home?
I’ll go, I’ll go anywhere but home
Change is a way to remove the scent of evil
Oh God, I’ll bite my words
If I could ever truly see you there
It's where I got to be lost to find the moment
Won’t you show me where?
Take me now
Won’t you show me anywhere but home?
I’ll go, I’ll go anywhere but home
No place like home
Home, I’ll go, I’ll go anywhere but home
Goodnight, tonight I’ll sleep on the red carpet
Sell my life for a pretty penny on the black market
Goodnight
Please take me where my headstone reads:
"I was, but am not any longer. I’m finally home"
Home
No place like home
FOR SOMEONE OR SOMETHING
You come from a place like me
Where twilight is still enough light to see
We’re both as blind as blind can be
But we still can see
Wouldn’t you rather live?
Wouldn’t you rather die for someone or something?
Why paint your own grave?
So that your life may not be in vain?
Rather be a hero than a saint
In my own lifetime
Wouldn’t you rather live?
Wouldn’t you rather die for someone or something?
Maintain your legend?
Or preserve your legacy?
Don’t you want to live?
No, no Lord, I’d rather die for it
Isn’t that what you do
When you have nothing else to lose?
Wouldn’t you rather live?
Wouldn’t you rather die for someone or something?
Maintain your legend?
Or preserve your legacy?
These aren't the questions you should be pondering
Life is for reason
I, I truly believe
I truly believe
Wouldn’t you rather live?
Wouldn’t you rather die for someone or something?
Maintain your legend?
Or preserve your legacy?
LETTERS FROM DEATH
Dear Mustn't Impose,
Whether your luck is run dry or frozen
You have been chosen
Glory Enclosed
Dear Whom Proclaim To Know,
Whether your faith is blind or broken
You have been chosen
Glory Enclosed
Dear Purest Of All Souls,
Whether your eyes have ever opened
You have been chosen
Glory Enclosed
Dear Dejected One,
Whether you did this on your own
You have been chosen
Glory Enclosed
Dear Evil Self-Imposed,
Whether justice is just as cold
You have been chosen
Glory Enclosed
DREAMING
Somewhere far away
A boy wanted to go outside and play
He was stuck indoors all day
Playing all of his own games
He was dreaming
He was dreaming
He was dreaming
Day after day
In the little place where he stayed
He hoped and dreamed
His dreams would come true someday
He was dreaming
He was dreaming
He was dreaming
He saw all the world
Through the little cracks in the boards
All the other kids
Were playing right outside his door
He was dreaming
He was dreaming, dreaming, dreaming
He was dreaming
One day the boy awoke
He’d given up hope
And to his astonishment
The door was wide open
The boy had awoken
Day after day
He'd dreamed of this day
The day finally came
And he walked outside to play
He tried to introduce himself
But he didn't know what to say
He’d given up on his dreams
And he didn't know how to play
The boy had awoken
Where there's a will, there's a way
I guess that's the name of the game
And keep dreaming
It’ll be worth the wait
FINELY LIT TEAL
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Run away
Until there's nowhere else to run
ANGEL IN MY BEDROOM
There’s an angel in my bedroom
She keeps me awake
Her wings are the memories
That won't fly away
I can’t see anything
All I can do is wait
I’ll wait for forever
To see the smile on her face
Why should I feel
When all I feel is pain?
Can’t live with the memories
That I can’t escape
And God weren't you listening
When I said I could change
Did you send me an angel
And then take her away?
There’s an angel in my bedroom
That I can’t even see
If love is blind, it’s not as blind as me
Every corner I turn
Every path that I cross
I don't need to see to know I that I’m lost
I find my way up this old staircase
And dusk is a decision I’ve already made
I’ll still hold her close when she's so far away
I don’t want to wake up anymore screaming her name
There’s an angel in my bedroom
She’s just the pain in my chest
Every second without her is another regret
I’ll wake up in heaven through my misery
I count the seconds til I fall asleep
I’m walking the staircase to the old pearly gates
I’m waiting for her voice at the end of my days
I want to sleep with the shadows and never wake up
I want to be ashes to ashes and dust to dust
There’s an angel in my bedroom
And she's carrying me away
Her light casts a shadow that I can't replace
I live for the moment
And the moment is gone
Tonight I’ll see the light of every other dawn
And why should I feel
When all I feel is pain?
Can’t live with the memories
That I can’t escape
God weren't you listening
When I said I could change
Did you send me an angel
Then take her away?
I'M FALLING
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
I’m a grown man crawling
I’m falling
I’m falling
Lord, I’m falling
I’m alone
I’m wasting my time
Pacing back and forth
In phases
Hellish places
I’m alone
I’m falling
Lord, I’m gone
My front, my cover
My smile is a cardboard cutout
I’m an empty lover
Please defend me
It’s so flimsy
There’s a demon in me
That I’m brawling
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
I’m a grown man crawling
I’m falling
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
Lord, I’m falling
Make peace within me
Don’t keep me where
I’m burned and buried
I’m so wary
Set me up high
I’m still fucked
I’m torn on the inside
I can’t find
Love before me
Can’t define
Myself any longer
Make me stronger
Burn those bridges
Tear down walls
I’m scared
I’m stalling
Lord, I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
I’m a grown man crawling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
I’m a grown man crawling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
I’m a grown man crawling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
I’m a grown man crawling
Lord, I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
I’m a grown man crawling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
(Lord, I beg of you)
I’m a grown man crawling
Lord, I’m falling
Lord, I’m falling
I’m falling
WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE
Everything you do is a bittersweet thorn
Sticks in your side from the day that you're born
Guilt and acclaim are a double-edged sword
A knife in my back is my knife in yours
Somewhere there's a file cabinet of dirt and dust
Somewhere, someone knows everything you've done
You can dust off your record, you can try it again
Water under the bridge is just piss in the wind
You got to go around living with all that guilt on your chest
With that burden on your back and those lies on your breath
You got to smile to your neighbors, and heed your own sin
Water under the bridge is just piss in the wind
No one truly forgets and forgives
For troubled waters there isn't any bridge
That’s not water you're swimming in
Savage beast is full, full of resent
With good aspirations, good will and intent
It’s every man for himself when good instincts kicks in
Water under the bridge is just piss in the wind
You can live a lie until your dead
You can make it all work, you can hang your head
You can't ever disguise the way you live
Water under the bridge is just piss in the wind
You pile it all up until it's a quote on your grave
And even then, you get to pick what you say
You can't ward off the blame with your good intent
“Water under the bridge is just piss in the wind”
No one truly forgets and forgives
For troubled waters there isn't any bridge
That’s not water you're swimming in
Ask God for forgiveness, and sing him this song
You can write me a letter, and you can tell me I’m wrong
I assure you, by God, this isn’t sacrilege
Water under the bridge is just piss in the wind
GOING GOING GONE
She wants it now because
She cannot ever have it again
She says she needs me now
She never needed me then
She said she’d leave me, maybe
Well I’ve stayed too long
She’ll never see me, baby
I’m going, going, gone
There was a fire in that feign-hearted blonde
She raised her whip like it was a wand
She cast a spell on my aversive heart
And she had me from the very start
I stayed for so long, God only knows why
I fretted after all of her lies
She seemed content the moment that I left
As I walked out I whispered under my breath
Going, going, gone
She wants it now because
She cannot ever have it again
She says she needs me now
She never needed me then
She said she’d leave me, maybe
Well I’ve stayed too long
She’ll never see me, baby
I’m going, going, gone
Gone, gone, gone, gone
Psychology really comes into play
When I have to play these twisted games
Her mind only craves what it can’t ever have
Her heart only breaks when love’s denied, at last
I favor never loved
Over loved and lost, any day
She’s begging me to love her now
Now I’m not listening
I have to remind her that
She put me through a living hell
Don’t have to tell her now
I have to tell myself I’m
Going, going, gone
She wants it now because
She cannot ever have it again
She says she needs me now
She never needed me then
She said she’d leave me, maybe
Well I’ve stayed too long
She’ll never see me, baby
I’m going, going, gone
When she had me
Well she never seemed to care
She never seemed to care that much
Maybe I’ll find someone
She won’t be such a mess, uh-huh
She wants it now because
She cannot ever have it again (Already gone)
She says she needs me now
She never needed me then (Already gone)
She said she’d leave me, maybe
Well I’ve stayed too long (Already gone)
She’ll never see me, baby
I’m going, go-
DAMN YOU GIRL
Damn you girl
Damn you girl
You left me dead
I’m gonna ride this train
Gonna ride it west
I’ll get off
When I’m damn well
Find a little job
In a little town
I’ll ride down
To the mountains high
I’ll find the best damn thing
And I’ll make it mine
Catch me now
If you can
You can see me fly
You won't see me land
Listen for a minute
You can hear the world collapse
You can see the humor
You can never seem to laugh
A few good hours
I’ll really be someone
Won’t see me flying down the
Westbound into the setting sun
Damn you girl
You know me best
Gonna jump this train
I’m gonna ride it west
I’m gonna stuff it all
Down a cigarette
Gonna hop this train
I’m gonna ride it west
I dropped the bottle back
I spun it first
I threw a half full glass
Into your hearse
Floating on wild bulls
Through canyons in a nest
I threw the half full moon
At your nice leather vest
I found a horse shoe
And I named it you
In God's country
And I knew you would want to see me
But I don’t have any lyrics left